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21 July 2017
Morning Sedition

A "Milli Vanilli" President

During the debates, and shortly thereafter, numerous sites reported on the peculiar bulge seen in the center of Bush's back. Now, if you'll recall, the Bush camp created rules of engagement specifically prohibiting cameras from showing either candidate from the back. This reasoning behind this peculiar restriction now becomes clear.

The general view, at least among non-Republicans who saw the video, was that the bulge was a radio receiver, allowing Bush's advisors to supplement his demonstrably meager intellect. See, for example,, Salon (Bush's Mystery Bulge, The Bulge Returns, Getting to the Bottom of the Bulge, NASA Photo Aanalyst: Bush Wore a Device During Debate), Mother Jones (Was Bush Wired? Sure Looks Like It), and even the New York Daily News (Bush's Back is Front & Center).

The "official" explanations were that the bulge was simply bad tailoring or a bullet-proof vest. Both "explanations" were later disavowed; after all, it clearly wasn't a selectively-bulky vest and his bespoke tailors are not so incompetent. (George de Paris knows, after all, how to make an excellent suit or clients wouldn't pay five grand — and up — for one.) (Besides, Bush doesn't wear a vest to debates or inside the Whitehouse, and every one of his suits can't have singularly bad tailoring.) In any event, the bulge also shows up in numerous official photos on the Website.

In the Whitehouse

Tooling Around Crawford

While the major media has killed the story, the generally accepted view — prior to now, that is — that Bush uses a miniature radio receiver in his ear to receive instructions from trusted aides. This perfectly explains the "let me finish" comment Bush made during the debates when nobody the audience could hear was interrupting him, and his occasional ability to recite facts and figures in a manner totally his usual rambling, incoherent, off-the-cuff self. The obvious proof was the bulge in his back.

The initial discussion focused on proving that the bulge wasn't a clothing or lighting artifact. That's easily done; digitally-enhanced images created by a former NASA expert show that Bush is clearly wearing something under his suit, and it probably isn't from Victoria's Secret.

Image-Enhanced Debate Photograph

Wireless earphones are widely available for public speakers, news anchors, etc. One common receiver is the "Receive-A-Cue". (In Bush's case it should be "Receive-a-Clue".)

Receive-A-Cue Receiver

Throughout this whole story two things has never made any sense to me: why is the receiver so large and why is it affixed to the center of his upper back. Why not stash it at the waist, the same way the Secret Service do? Now the truth is coming out: Bush has a life-threatening heart arythmia which might very well have derailed his stealing the election. The bulge is now believed to be a defibrillator. This may be the truth behind the alleged "choking on a pretzel" incident; it wasn't a pretzel, it was his bum ticker.

The outline of the bulge perfectly matches the outline of the LIFECOR Wearable Cardioverter Defibrillator; compare the two and see if you aren't convinced. Then factor in that Bush didn't have a medical exam until after the election and tell me I'm hallucinating or in need of an aluminum-foil helmet.

Now, the original story about the bulge being a radio receiver makes me wonder if someone might have been nosing around too close to the truth and so, in a style of disinformatzia familiar to the follower of Soviet history, Karl Rove leaked the radio-receiver story to cover up the bigger story.

Naaah. That's too paranoid, even for me. (And smart as Rove is, he isn't that smart.) But this still is one serious rabbit hole to go down...

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